Hair today - more hair tomorrow

I hate hair growth but suspect that I am not alone in this feeling (Unless of course I start to go bald).

I thought a Pamper session would mean peace and serenity but in actual fact, when hair makes an appearance in unwanted places….pamper actually equates to pain because special tools such as “tweezers”, “wax strips” and “fingernails” come out to play.

I have in the past tormented my delicate leg and bikini areas with THE WAX treatment but have until last night avoided using THE WAX above my lip (the one on my face).

I remember now why I have avoided THE WAX for such a long time - IT BLOODY HURTS.
Its only saving grace is that the pain does not last quite as long as childbirth.

Its also nothing like this, where clearly the "leg" has no actual hairs and in fact is just enjoying its own little "pamper session"

and more enjoyably this........as if MEN could EVER give birth!

Star Wars

We are preparing for a party away this weekend and #2 is especially excited about the prospect of legitimately dressing up in a Star Wars costume.

Prior to the clocks going forward this weekend, we were woken up a few days ago at 5.30am to the "force" of a green light sabre stealthily drifting past our bedroom door, followed by the theme tune of Star Wars being sung like a pesky drone from the bathroom.....it was a great time to have a poo apparently.

I'll be honest and say that my mental state at the time resembled that of The Rancor below.

The problem has been "what to wear" as she is officially now a TOM BOY and cannot possibly entertain the idea of being Princess Leia, even if she could ride one of the Forest Moon of Endor Speeders.  

She settled upon wanting to be Boba Fett but as the days are getting closer, I am an evil Dark Force that  does not have the creativity to make the Boba Fett helmet and I am too tight and refuse to pay over £25 for one on Amazon.  We have since moved from Luke Skywalker, to Obi Wan Kenobi, to Anakin Skywalker and even the Emperor.

#2 has now decided that she can go as "Darth Vadress", but I have to tie her hair back though because otherwise people "will know I am a Tom Boy".  So a quick trip to Asda tomorrow and "Boba's" your uncle - she will be sorted!

I am certainly looking forward to watching two of my dear friends, contain 30+  "Galaxy explorers" aged 4-5, who will be on a Space Sugar high and enjoying the spoils of their Jedi Training......

The "Crazy" cupcake

In my desperate boredom during the hours of "paid employment" (and I do feel guilty about this) I have been catching up on news from around the region whilst pretending to be busy, tip tap, tapping on my keyboard.

The following article did make me smile as it reports the reaction of a woman in Cardiff who apparently went mental following the realisation that her favourite cupcake had been sold out........

Great publicity for the Sugarswirlz Cup Cakery in Cardiff but is does make you wonder whether the nations predilection for sugary treats is becoming an addiction with serious consequences when the "sugar high" starts to make you feel low.

Enjoy the article below...preferably with a big hunk of frosted sponge.

Cardiff Fairy Cake Shop attack

Grand Slam Wales!

In celebration of our Welsh Rugby team winning their 3rd Grand Slam since 2005 and to ease the boredom of a very boring 30 minute lunch-break today, I put pen to paper and hope you enjoy this little ditty.

Grand Slam

Wham Bam

Good work boys

Well done Sam

Hoof

Boof

Then run loose

Bet the French

Wish they had closed the roof

Watching on the sofa

Seeing someone’s Nan

Heart rate racing, commentary grating

Dan Lydiate’s our man

Scrum time now

In the short green grass

“Pause….., Touch, Engage”

Lets view some arse

Priestland,  George,  Faletau

Halfpenny, Hook

We love you

For the rest who made the squad

And kept your bods so dandy

Those chiselled chops and muscle rocks

Didn’t ‘arf make some of us randy

Thanks for the party

For Cuthbert the try

Gatland for not smiling

Now we know why

Focus is key

Oz land is next

Rugby for ever

The Welsh team is best.

Frog went a courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh

This post is dedicated to the huge and quite frankly, quite hideous frog gang bang that recently took place in our garden pond.

Over the course of a 48hr period, we were kept awake at night by the grunting and gentle splish splash of  "frog sex" and in the morning, were left to view the carnage of convergent copulation by huge swathes of frog spawn.

Some spawn has fallen victim to the "pond-dipping net" which #1 was using to fling "the jelly" at #2, but on the whole, it has to be noted that we are not going to have a shortage of young froglets in the near future.

I have "put my foot down" (not literally) on allowing the frog spawn in the house but we are daily checking on progress and will update accordingly.  

Strawberry Cake Time

Yes - I know what you are thinking....this whole sponge cake thing is going a bit far but I was in a desperate rush to whip up a quick cake for friends who came to visit on the weekend and when one only has 30mins before #1's piano lesson, what better way to listen the the practice notes of "Jelly on a Plate" (played ultra carefully by a right hand) whilst quickly beating the cake mixture to creamy loveliness in the kitchen......a great stress reliever too!!

Lemon Cake Time

Ahhh - the joys of a real cream cake.

I would like to say that I actually made the Lemon Curd as well but I would be lying and instead used a Waitrose special.

The versatility of a classic Victorian Sponge cake should not be underestimated when it comes to easy peasy desserts.

Putting my foot in it?

I have finally made the big time and recently had the following rant published in the local newspaper......

"Having recently moved back to Crickhowell, I have become increasingly saddened and consumed by a daily paranoia that occurs when taking my children anywhere within a two metre distance of our driveway.  Does anyone suffer it?  It’s called “Watch out for dog mess!!”.

How can such a beautiful town allow itself to fall foul to four legged beasts that like ghosts, appear to descend upon our pavements on virtually every route into town and leave excrement that not only creates mayhem for all who step through it, but increases the risk of hydatid disease. I suggest you look it up on http://www.hpa.org.uk/ as I don’t want to spoil your reading pleasure whilst chomping down on coffee and cake but in essence, it’s a condition which can and does kill humans and current evidence suggests that the main areas for hydatid disease in Wales are Powys, Monmouthshire and farms on the southern slopes of the Brecon Beacons and the Black Mountains.   Oh – that will be this area then?

I am not a dog owner  but given the high availability of rubber gloves, plastic bags (recyclable of course) and a little scoops that are available in buildings called “shops”,  is it really that difficult for dog owners to clean up after their little (or big) pooch? 

I suspect many a dog owner will read this and think that “this does not relate to me because I clear up after mine” and it’s a shame to tar you all with the same sticky scoop but clearly there are some rogue rotties out there who clearly do not give a “poop”.

Why should I berate my young children for getting mess on their shoes when it’s not their fault?  Why should I have to go through the horror of the “retch” when cleaning infected shoes? Why should I have to wear wellies to walk along a public footpath which has turned into a criss-cross intersection of mutty motorway mess?  And by the way,  just because it’s a “footpath in the country” and “no longer a pavement “does not mean you don’t have to clear the mess up either….. it would appear that some dog owners have forgotten this small and sometime large point (please excuse the pun)."

Raising a tail for health and mental happiness.

Mrs “ Non” de Poop  


I decided not to use my real name for fear of having to sign autographs.....

Its been a while I know....

There is no excuse really for not posting anything up over the last week or so except to say that I have been quite busy literally doing nothing. (and YES - I do mean literally).  The new job has shown me that levels of boredom can reach epic proportions of quick snap depression and the sad fact is that unless I do something about it soon, I could fall into an abyss of really not wanting to bother doing anything!  (Something my new work colleagues have already warned me about and appear to be already suffering from).

A quick synopsis of my "new" working day (all 444 minutes of it).

• Arrive and complete timesheet
• Make tea
• Do some photocopying
• Listen to anecdotes of what valley individuals can occasionally get up to
• Lunch
• Play with Excel and create a mail-merge ( whoo hooo - I suggested that I create a letter)
• Listen to more anecdotes
• Make tea
• Complete timesheet
• Go home

Ahhh - my parents must be so proud that three years of university really showed me how I could contribute to society.  

Its a manic rush in the morning to get #1 & #2 ready for school, make their lunchboxes, prepare #3's nursery bag and (in between the nappy change) spoon-feed her porridge but this morning I discovered that I could go to the toilet and nurse #3 on my lap whilst also brushing her teeth....a saving of at least 2 mins before getting everyone out of the house by 0815. 

God - this post is boring isn't it?