The Bidet

I never really understood the hype about the humble bidet until I met my husband and discovered that his parents had always installed one in their bathroom.   To me, it was just something that Crocodile Dundee placed his foot into whilst staying at that posh hotel in New York and took a little while to figure out what it was for.


And this is the thing.....to my children, the bidet is more commonly associated with washing stinky feet and more recently, washing Stinky Barbie's hair (Barbie is always referred to as "stinky" Barbie in our house as it was my husbands attempt to try and divert attention from the plastic boobs and her impossibly small waist that #2 will probably think is normal in a few years time).  We failed the battle on this one however, purchased one on E-bay and Stinky Barbie is now occasionally placed in the bidet on occasions which I feel is quite fitting.


So - I want to know how many people actively think to place a bidet in their bathroom and more importantly, does anyone actually use it to wash their nether regions?   Having quickly looked at good old Wikipedia, the "Bidet is a French word for pony (and in Old French, bider meant to trot). This etymology comes from the notion that one rides a bidet much like a pony is ridden. In addition, the bidet is also referred to as the "garden hose."  


The "trots" to us Brits however is also a euphemism for the "shits" and running to the toilet looking like a pony is highly likely when trying to clench your arse cheeks together to stop any offending poop from touching cloth.  But actually riding the Bidet like a pony?   My god - this sounds rather sexual to me and also a little bit "specialist"?


This following except also made me smile, "The sprayer-type bidets are sold to Muslims as "shataf," which permit the user to comply with Islamic laws about using the toilet and the cultural preference of using water instead of paper".  Shataf?......oh I never knew that the Bidet offered so much in the way of mirth for my rather odd sense of humour.


Anyway, this could get a bit out of hand  (oops - did it again) and despite the general non-use of the ceramic basin in our bathroom, I must admit that over the last few days, it has been my knight in shining armour as #2 has been in dire straits with the distress that is childhood constipation and we have been merrily "trotting" to the bidet to "clean" up.   


I will leave you with this image of riding the pony .....the tap also appears to be used to "floss" too.


ps - THIS IS NOT ME!!