Chamomile Tea

I have taken the recent decision to try and reduce the amount of tea and coffee I am imbibing in order to cope with the stress of an incredibly slow desk job and have turned to the relaxing properties of Chamomile.

I am hoping that this will reduce the uncomfortable bloated stomach feeling that creeps upon me over the day, which is made worse by the fact that I cannot relive myself and use the shared toilet for “pooping” on company time because the toilet is only capable of flushing 1 sheet of paper away at a time.

There is nothing worse that that awful red faced reaction that instantly flushes over you (pun intended ) when your creation has refused to disappear.   You are immediately faced with having to repeatedly flush the toilet……praying “please let it be this time” that the little log will disappear.  

You will turn to methods like “wrapping” your little friend by throwing more toilet paper in the bowl so that the slippery bowl will have something to clutch onto when you again press down hard on the flush.    One of two things will generally happen next....

• The little friend will finally flush away and you will leave the cubicle to smile innocently to the person waiting who knows exactly what you have been up to.
• The little shit (literally) will wave back at you so that you are forced again to hide it under a new layer of tissue and then leave the toilet to somebody waiting who knows exactly what you have been up to. (Or alternatively you can attempt the above steps and undertake “wrapping” again.

 Anyway – I digress…..

So upon being offered a cuppa, I delve into my personal stash of Chamomile tea and am instantly rebuked for being “Posh. 

The sad thing is that I can live with that accolade but given the above dilemma, I readily admit to being "Too Posh to Push" during work........